We all have gas...

Every day.  We all need gas to get somewhere.  Maybe we only need a couple of gallons to get to payday, or payday is today, and thank goodness, we can put a whole $20 worth in!

This post is geared towards one of those days when we are not in a crazy hurry to get on with our busier than everyone else's life.  We just need to get a little  gas......

So, off we go to the gas station!  This is probably one the most dreaded chores of our lives.  Which station has the lowest prices?  The quickest service?  Can I really get in and out of that parking lot without someone plowing into me?  Oh, the thoughts that run through our head just thinking about getting a little gas!

Driving through town, we look at the signs.  Finally!  This station has their regular unleaded 2 cents cheaper than anyone else!  Now, which pump should I choose?  What side of the car is my gas-thingy on?

Pull up to a pump. Check our phone for incoming texts. Maybe send one that says "BRB, gotta get gas :-("....(Meanwhile, the cashier has seen you drive up, and is watching to see if you are going to use a credit card, which can be done right at the pump. Authorizing and pumping is practically instantaneous! Or, are you going to be paying inside; which means that your pump must be manually authorized from the register....)  Check your hair. Check to replies in sympathy to you having to get gas. (waiting)...Open the door, check your phone, just one more time.  Oh, you should probably just take it with you while you pump.  That silliness about static electricity, cellphones lighting fumes on fire, it's all hogwash. Finally, hop on out of that car!

Ok, let's see here.  Of course, I should put the premium gas in my car, but "those people" always put such a high price on it!  So, you decide on the Regular.  Look, an easy decision!  Next, figure out which handle to use.  Stick in in the car, because that gas is just going to fly out of it the second you hit the button!  Wait, there are buttons to push?  Which one should I use?  There's a green one, red, yellow, black.  Numbers on these.  Yes/no on that one.  Oh my gosh!  So many decisions to be made! (waiting)  You decide you'll pay inside, because everybody knows, your entire credit limit is frozen for 2 days when you have your card authorized at the pump.  Hit the "pay inside" button. Twice. (AHA!  The cashier can now authorize that pump for you!)  Watch the pump to see when it resets for you; 5 seconds, 20 seconds....Where is that cashier?  What else does she have to do except be ready to authorize this pump right this second? (Oh, sorry, she turned away to help a customer at the cash register!)  Finally, the pump resets and we are ready to pump some gas!

OK, why is the gas not pumping? I hit the button.  I had the pump inside my car with the handle full open, ready to go.  Check the gas handle.  Shield eyes from the sun to see the pump screen better, squint.  Look inside the gas station.  Put hand on hip. Check the gas handle again.  Oh, wait, here comes the cashier now!  Maybe there's a problem with this pump (she should have bagged the handle then!), maybe I'll have to move to another pump (well, I'll just go to the next station if they can't keep their equipment working!)..

The cashier walks up to the pump and looks it over quickly.  Gives a smile (yeah, don't think being nice will reduce the effect your negligence with regards to your pump maintenance). Flips up the metal handle that releases the flow of gas into your car.  Says "There you go!". (No "sorry"? Rude!)

And she goes back into the station.

During all of the above, which really only took about 2 minutes, that cashier has checked out 5 other customers and wiped the spilled pop off of the counter.  She only chuckled to herself a little bit.

Eventually, after you have pumped exactly $20, no wait, $20.01 worth of gas (those gas station owners must set the pumps to jump the extra cent when you release the handle. Don't they make enough money?) You recheck your phone, then head in to pay for your fuel.

Carefully, you enter the store.  Today, we'll just pay for the gas and get on with life.  Oh my goodness, there's already someone at the counter.  The cashier is smiling and chatting with them.  Doesn't she know that after all the trouble pumping, now I'm in a hurry?  I must get to......Wherever. And in a bigger hurry than anyone else.. So then, the cashier, while ringing up the chatter's items, actually greets another two people walking in the door!

Why can't she just concentrate on the task at hand?  Surely this would all go faster if she would just deal with one person at a time.  Like me!  Now! 
"Hi!"  the cashier says.  "How's your day going?"
"It's going." (customer replies) then, "I had $20.01 on pump, um, that one, with the blue car..."
"Gotchya!" (she has already recognized the customer and rung up the fuel) "Will that be it for you today?"
"Yeah. And a pack of Manoboro Reds."
"OK, here you go, can I see your ID, please?"
"What?  I come in here all the time!"
"Sorry, it's just store policy."
"Well, no one else cards me!" (There actually are two other people that work here, so this is a possibility)
"Sorry, but to sell cigarettes, it's store policy and state law to have an ID."
"Fine!  Here it is, I guess even though I'm almost 30, you HAVE to have it!" (And you toss your ID on the counter)
"Thank you!  Now your total is $27.08."
You swipe your debit card in the machine (that has instructions printed directly on the front, and actually walks you through the debit process). Nothing happens. You swipe again. Nothing.
"You might want to turn your card over, Hon."
Ugh!  Swipe again!  The machine asks "Credit or Debit".  It's a debit card!  But, you press the debit button anyway.  Then you input your PIN.  Then you press the green button. And wait. This should shoot out a receipt any second. And wait.
Look down at the machine. It reads "Would you like cash back?" Now, you push "NO".  AND THEN, it asks "Is this the correct amount?".  (Oh Good Grief!  I am in such a huge hurry, and there are so many buttons to push!  When is it EVER going to be just "swipe and go" like the predictions say?)
FINALLY, the machine says "approved", the cashier asks "would you like your receipt?"
"No!" you say as you are on your way out the door..  In your hurry to "wherever". 
"OK, have a good afternoon!"  I say to your retreating figure, as another customer comes to the register..

So, let's look at this now from the inside of the store........
I see your car pull up, and I stop to wait by the register so I can authorize the pump for you, if you aren't using a credit card.  I set down the two 5 gallon buckets of ice that I was taking to the pop machine.  While you are checking your phone and your hair, I check out the old guy who gets his scratch offs here every day.  I greet the two women coming in for a restroom break and a tea for the road. I hear your pump ringing, and after I write down your license plate number, I hit that authorize button.  While I am ringing up the tea ladies, I keep an ear out for the "ping" that signals to me your pump is working.
Not hearing it, I look out and see you standing with your hand on your hip, shielding your eyes, squinting up at the screen, rechecking the gas handle twice.  I ask the gentleman who is there for a twelve pack and a pack of smokes to "hang on, just a second" and I walk out to see if there is something wrong with the pump (I already know there is not).  I smile at you, you glower at me.  A practiced eye glances at the pump, I flip up the delivery handle, say "There you go!" and head back inside, where I now have 3 people waiting in line.

Ring them up, and in you walk. Looking around like you expect to be accosted.  "Hi!  How's your day going?"  I ask.  "It's going." you reply.  I can tell you're impatient.  I ring up your fuel from pump 2, and then you tell me that you had  gas.  "Is that all for you today?" "Yeah." you reply. And then you ask for a package of cigarettes.  When I ask for your ID (because I've never sold to you before), you take it out of your wallet-from right beside the debit card you will take out next- and protest that no one in this store ever cards you.  And that you're almost 30. (Ok.  I appreciate that, but I know the other two people that work here pretty well, and if such a young looking person were to ask for smokes, they certainly would card you.  Not only because it's the LAW, not only because we really don't want to sell cigs to minors, but because we can lose our tobacco license, and pay many thousands of dollars in fines, and ultimately, lose our business if we sell to an underage person).  Sorry to inconvenience you for a second.
Now, it's time for you to pay.  You don't even look at the card reader. You just swipe your card.  And swipe it again.  Finally, deciding that like many others, you are too preoccupied to actually READ printed instructions, I explain that you might want to turn your card another way.
Then, and I know this is taxing, you have to push some buttons because the machine doesn't just know it's you when you slide your card.  Let's count: Debit. 1234. Green. No cash back. Yes this is correct... That is a total of 8 buttons to push. I realize it's a lot.  Honestly, I do.
Then I have the audacity to ask if you would like a receipt (as you are headed out the door).
"Have a good afternoon!"
Here is another customer at the register (I think to myself, "hope the pop machine doesn't run out of ice before this rush is over.")
"Hi!  How's your day going?"

A little introduction..

Hi!  How are you today? Will there be anything else?  Have a good one!

That is the script of my every day....  And, yes, you HAVE heard it before!

 "Where do I know that voice from?" is what you are thinking to yourself, I would bet on it.

I am your gas station attendant.  Convenience store cashier. Clerk. Whatever you want to call it; I am the voice that greets you as you walk in, and follows you out.

I am average.  I look like your Momfriendwifesisteraunt.

 I might not know your name right this second, but come in my store twice, and I will know-not only your name, but what kind of car you drive, what you drink, smoke, snack on.  And I will do my very best to remember, so that the third time you come in, I have your Reds in hand when you come to the counter.

First and foremost, I wanted to write this blog as a way to let people know that gas prices ARE NOT MY FAULT!!  Gasoline is a huge industry, and I am at the second to the bottom rung on the chain of delivery.... 

Secondly, being an attendant at a gas station is a little like being a jack-of-all-trades.  I can do so much more than run a cash register!  I'm sure a lot of people think that cashier is just standing there waiting to authorize the gas pump for them, practically before they even realize they want gas.  Not so!  Well, I guess there are those that do just stand around, but I haven't met too many of them.

Finally, this job is a window into so many human (and inhuman; read: restroom usage) behaviors it boggles the mind.  As a starting point, let's just say that in this day and age, it is a complete surprise to me that some people still do not know HOW to pump their own gas.  I'm serious.  On average, once a shift, I have to explain to someone how to use a pump.  Then I think; "well, their car had gas in it to get here in the first place.  Who must have explained it to them at the last gas station they went to?"  Then, I want to meet that other gas station cashier and compare notes!

In conclusion for this first post, I just want a place to get my thoughts (yes, even cashiers have deep thoughts!) out of my head and out into the air.  I hope some of the information finds your funny bone.  Some of it might make you think twice about how you transact business in a gas station.  At the very least, I hope what is contained here makes you look around and see that there ARE other human beings out there.